If you’ve ever gone online, you’ve most likely encountered what I like to think of as Internet Science. I’m not talking about real science that actually makes the internet possible. I’m talking about the weird and special things you can find masquerading as science online.
Among the most conspicuous, are the ads featuring “One weird old secret for a flat tummy” or “Plastic surgeons hate her… 58 year old woman looks 28… here’s her secret”… and of course the millions of ads promising to make any guys penis the envy of large horses everywhere.
This was all triggered by a friend of mine who may have had pink eye. They were trying to figure out how they contracted it and said… “You can only get it by kissing someone who has it or by someone farting on your pillow.” When I finally stopped laughing and caught my breath, I told them that’s not how you catch pink-eye. “But I saw it on this site online!” After more laughing I directed them to an actual reputable wibsite which listed how you really get pink eye. (Bacterial infection, not pillow farts)
Then I experienced Internet Science for myself. Now my eyes are open, my life is changed and I will share this simple secret with everyone. Or at least the people who read this blog.
I have diabetes, so I have to regularly monitor my blood sugar. The lower the better. Last month my sugar level was around 21 (healthy is 4-7) so I’ve been working to get it under control. Yesterday, I worked a 14hr day with only breakfast. Going that long without eating usually drives my sugars crazy, but before my really late supper, they were only at 12.4. Yay for progress. To celebrate this success, I ate three mince tarts for supper knowing full well my sugars would be high this moring.
When I checked them before breakfast I got a 12.2. This is where the cool internet science kicks in. Because I had mince tarts before bed and my sugar was 0.2 lower this morning, it’s obvious that mince tarts lower blood sugar! Forget actual medicine prescribed by doctors. That’s all just a scam by the big drug companies to get money from you. Mince tarts cost only a fraction of what you’re paying every month for pills and needles.
As I just demonstrated, this is a PROVEN technique to fight high blood sugars. You can thank me later. (If you’re still around) Not only will this save you money, but you also get to eat yummy, yummy mince tarts. (You can thank me for that too.)
Now you understand how this works, you too can share the wonder of Science on the Internet.
Disclaimer: This is not real science. If you have diabetes PLEASE continue taking any prescribed medication and do not eat yummy, yummy mince tarts to lower your sugars. This article is intended as satire only. Contrary to the wisdom of the internet, this is NOT science.