Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

I think I mentioned last time that things get a little strange once the creativity starts flowing. Well, hopefully I can finish on a slightly more normal note.


A Note To My Therapist

A dream perhaps and yet more real,

than I have known before.

How can I know the truth of it,

what’s dream and what is more.


In dreams I often tell myself,

“You’re dreaming never fear.”

But what if I am wrong and this,

is false, the dream is here.


What if rules and common sense,

are only in my head.

And all the chaos I call dreams,

is really real instead.


There’s no answer that I can find,

no way to truly know.

So I’ll just choose the one I like,

and that’s where I will go.


So if you come and I have gone,

it’s true I’ve only woke.

It’s you who’s trapped within a dream,

the punchline to my joke.


Cheers, Winston


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The End Is Pricey

Beware! Beware! The end is near!
It’s nearly here I swear.
A doom, a doom is coming soon,
It’s doomy everywhere,

With doom and gloom and worse in store,
Trust me the end is nigh.
With all that is about to end,
What cause have I to lie?

I did not ask to see these things
I did not ask for fame.
Just buy my books and videos,
To learn more of my claim.

Economies are going to crash,
The terrorists arrive.
With plagues and famines, wars and such,
Most people won’t survive.

But in my books I’ll show you how,
To make it through the end.
I’ll help you prep to face it all,
So buy my vids my friend.

I’ve got the kit, the bugout bags,
For you and all your kin.
So buy your gear and guns and such,
You’ve got to spend to win.

Don’t worry if the end’s not yet,
It’s coming any day.
So hurry now and start your prep,
As long as you can pay.

Cheers, Winston

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White Weather Blues.

Now spring is here and so I sit,
And watch the falling snow.
The robins sit upon my lawn,
Shout every curse they know.

l know the snow won’t stay this time,
But still I’ve had enough.
With every extra flake that falls,
The more I hate that stuff.

Tomorrow when I walk to work,
l know it’s going to rain.
Yet even as I splash along,
You won’t hear me complain.

The reason rain sucks less than snow,
No need to shovel it,
I’ve had my fill of winter now,
It’s time to stop this shit!

Cheers, Winston.

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For those who thought I might be done with poetry…. that will probably never be the case.  Tonights verse is courtesy of the wilderness  is my backyard.  It got to the point my dog didn’t have room to go out to go pee.  So Lynn and I got busy and reclaimed part of it for him.  just not sure when we’ll get to the rest of it.

Nature’s Kingdom

My yard is overgrown and the weeds are quite extreme,
And if I don’t do something soon I’ll hear the neighbors scream.

I have a honeysuckle vine that once fit in a pot ,
But now it’s twenty feet or more to give or take a jot.

The locals think the look of it is really quite a fright,
But birds and all the critters seem quite thrilled to see this sight.

So do I cut it to the ground avoid my neighbors wrath,
Or leave it to the birds and bees let nature take her path?

Cheers, Winston

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Pegacornasus…. Thingy

If horse with horn be unicorn or pegasus with wings,
Then unasus or pegacorn,
Is one with both these things.

If you have seen a pegacorn or unasus with wings,
I want to know how much you drank,
To help you see these things.

Cheers, Winston

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Once again, my lovely and clever muse Lynn gave me the idea for tonights post.  Without her to keep me inspired, I never would have made it this for into my personal poetry challenge. 

Thank you my love.  Here is the poem you requested.


Mosquito Season

You whiny little bitch with wings,
Don’t stick your beak in me.
I’ll squash you if I get the chance,
So you’d do well to flee.

You take my blood and bring disease,
You’re nothing but a pest.
I slap myself and slap my friends,
I’m growing quite obsessed.

You come to ruin summer fun,
Drive me inside at night.
I’ve got Muskol and Deep Woods Off,
Won’t go without a fight.

You bite my toes and bite my ears,
I kill you by the score.
But you don’t care you bite and bite,
There are so many more.

You only drink to feed your young,
No more than they deserved.
I’m feeling like a fast-food chain,
With seven billion served.

Again this year our war resumes,
Again my blood is spilled.
And every chance I get I slap,
And one of you is killed.

So fly on by mosquito please,
Go buzz anothers ear.
Go bother them no need to be,
Such a pain in my rear.

Cheers, Winston

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I started a totally different poem earlier. Unfortunately, as I was writing it I realized I had no idea where the heck it was going. So I did some creative triage and moved on. Here is poem seventeen v2.0.


Inspirationally Challenged

My fevered brain has lost it’s words,
I’ve naught to say tonight.
And even though I’ve lost my mind,
I still am going to write.

It seems as if it’s going to be,
Much harder to complete.
These thirty verse in thirty days,
A tough target to meet.

But I keep writing though my mind
Is empty as can be.
I must go on because that is,
My commitment to me.

You see these poems aren’t for you,
They exercise my brain.
And that is why I carry on,
Despite the mental strain.

Perhaps tomorrow I will be,
More able than today.
And figure out just what it is,
That I might want to say.

Cheers, Winston

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